Now that the Union Government has acceded to the demand for a separate Telangana, raising a Pandora's box, it is interesting t0 note the reactions of opposers of Telangana, comprising mainly of those from Coastal Andhra and Rayalaseema. While I was going through an article of Rajinder Puri, arguing for more smaller states, I came across this comment, which I decided to reproduce in full... [By Narayan Sthanam, Birmingham, UK]
"What is the big deal, I say let us divide AP into three parts, Andhra, Telangana and Royalaseema, then Telugus will have three CMs and those three can divide the loot equally between them! That is what socialism is all about, right? See that Koda guy from Jharkhand, he kept everything for himself! No socialism there.
Why stop there, divide costal Andhra region into two parts North Andhra and SouthAndhra. However, I am sure the Telangana parts around Hyd are more prosperous than the interior villages. So, soon there will be agitations and bandhs demanding separate state for them, because once KCR becomes CM, he will stay and enjoy in Hyd only, who bothers about those backward interior regions. Same will happen with Rayalaseema too, because there are enough politicians who want to become CM (aka Jagan), poor guys they need money more than you and me.
You know where it is going, I am from Guntur district and I do not like the guys from Krishna district, they always think they are too smart and politicians from my region are not getting their proper share of loot. We cannot stand that any more. Similarly, Karimnagar district politicians do not want to share with Adilabad guys. Even now west Godavari district wants to move away from the east Godavari. You know, those West Godavari buggers feel culturally too superior to East Godavari guys always, hence east guys do not want to have anything with the west guys and their cultural superiority and funny language. As I said earlier, we have plenty of KCRs and enough idiotic youth with brains in their kneecaps to follow. So, no problem, we can and will have many pieces of AP to go around. TeluguThalli, ThalanganaThalli, KhammamThalli, GunturThalli etc., we will have plenty of ‘Thallis’ to go around. ‘Thallis' are for correcting our words and accents, and also to wash our mouths whenever we use bad words against others. That is what mothers are for, right? Only cry for us, but can not make us see consequences. We are too grownups to be slapped into senses.
As I said, these divisions will happen, if not today sometime soon, so I feel why go through all this pain and suffering repeatedly? We have plenty of KCRs and Potti Sreeramulus and many other fat guys who need to go on fasting for one reason or other. I say we have to blame Gandhiji for all this mess. Anyway, why suffer later; I say we should act quickly before all those fat guys fast.
Intelligent thing to do now is to divide Andhra on the lines of pre-British era, where every town is a kingdom and every king (aka CM) can have as many wives as he want. There, that is a perfect solution for the present problem, so each King will have his own beaurocracy along with few brave soldiers. If the neighbor king has a good looking wife or beautiful daughters or cows that give more milk, we will send army to grab them. How dare, one king has all these, without sharing with less fortunate kingdoms?
Who cares what is happening in the outside world, whether 90% of Chinese will have minimum healthcare or 100% of their children have computers to surf the net and read about latest scientific advances like man landing on Mars and finding water on Moon. I say who cares; our ancient Rishis have told us about these things thousands of years back in whatever-thatVeda you know! If you say, when 80% of the Indian population has no private toilets to use, and who cares about computers? I agree with you. But then, our Maoist brothers will say, why should few have toilets when 80% do not have, so let us blow up the ones we have, so 100% people will not have? That is a good socialism. I will agree with you whole heartedly about this blowing up scheme, lest I may be accused as a capitalistic pig who does not want share with every other poor family. Yes, I am willing to share my toilet with everyone, please tell then not to blow me up.
You may ask what happens to our Naxalite Annalu, if AP is divided into 245 Kingdoms that will have 245 CMs and 490 deputy CMs. Do not worry; we will still have democracy for namesake just like now! They all can become deputy CMs in charge of public/private property looting and destruction of the neighboring kingdoms. I can assure you, I have not met single communist in India that will not fall for this scheme. Everyone wants to be prosperous ‘more than next guy’ you know, if I do not have it, next guys should not have it.
If you all agree for this division formula to save money and time, and agree to divide our state into small pieces, I will go back and dust up my 'Vamsa Vriksham'. My father used to say that our ancestors were ruling northern part of present Bapatla town and I am eager to lay down my claims to that throne. I need to do that fast, because if I remember, my next door neighbors son also used to boast about his ancestors, how they used to control the water rights to prevent every Tom, Dick and Harry taking free water from the city lake. My neighbor used to leave drainage water from his bathroom into our front yard and we were always afraid to argue with him. That is a different story, and I do not want to burden you with discussions of ‘water-flowing’ rights here, because we will have plenty of those in divided Teluguland for sure, and you may get discouraged about my plans with that discussion.
So I pray Soniaji to decide and declare quickly the division of AP, because I am afraid I will have a fight with my next door neighbor and I want to win that at any cost. After all I am the CM of Northern part of Bapatla town in Guntur District of Central Andhra part of present Anhdra Pradesh and I should be able to make free ‘sara’ from palm trees around my house and drink free water from lake as much as I want. I hope of no step-motherly treatment from ‘Amma’ of Delhi when I approach her for my water-flowing rights later though. She needs to give permission for everything and anything to happen in India(s), you see.
Come on guys let us move our butts and burn more buses, trains, hospitals, schools, chemistry labs (I hated them always and I failed chemistry too many times), shops, cars of our neighbors, etc. etc. Few innocent people will die, so be it, for the greater cause of ‘my future kingdom’ you all can sacrifice that much. If you do not get involved, I may have to call my KCR anna to use some ‘Telangana Telugu from his heart’ against you guys. Let us go, let us go, I see a new Volvo public bus coming from Chirala, full of my next town people. Where is that match and petrol can, when I needed it? Jai Telangana, Jai Guntur, Jai Bapatla et. etc."
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Thanks to Narayan Sthanam and Outlook
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